Tommy

My neighbor Tommy died yesterday. He was two months older than my dad, but his health made him seem physically 20 years older. On the other hand, his personality made him seem 20 years younger, so in a lot of ways, I thought of him as a peer.

I really didn't get to know him well until this summer. He has been living with his mother for 8 years following a couple of strokes and years of diabetes. Truthfully, prior to July of this year I'd only seen him a handful of times in the 7 years I've lived here, and then he always seemed so frail. But this summer his mom was hospitalized, and the experience really seemed to give him strength. He suddenly was taking care of things around the house, paying the lawn service, taking out the trash, etc. I stopped to talk to him one day when we were both dragging trash bins to the curb, and we became friends. After that, I took him to the grocery store and various errands every couple of weeks, even after his mom got better and came home. Because his speech was hard to understand over the phone, I occasionally helped him make phone calls. Our outings would often last 3 hours, tiring us both out, but I loved listening to his stories about how things were before he got sick.

Before he got sick, he had worked as a property manager for a large apartment company and had a wide social circle. Sadly, his friends stopped coming to visit soon after he moved in back with his mom. As a child he walked to the elementary school that used to be located where the grocery store is now.

It also breaks my heart that his mother has now outlived her husband, 2 of her sisters, both of her sons, and her granddaughter. It's not fair.

Tommy was sassy and funny, and could be catty and crass. He made me laugh, and he really brightened my day. He used to say that he *could* drive the car, but his mother would be really angry. That cracked me up, but at the same time, I wondered if he was serious or just kidding.

Tommy died in the house where he was born 63 years ago, probably only feet away from his actual birth. He died in his sleep, and didn't seem to be in pain, although he had been sick for a couple of days.

I will really miss him.