Revenge of the Sith

I have now seen the final Star Wars movie on opening day. A tradition ends. OK, so when I was a kid, I didn't see the first 3 on opening day (maybe Return of the Jedi, but I can't remember). BUT, all of the rereleases and the new films I have seen on opening day. Even the movies that weren't that good. Yesterday I saw it twice, once at 10 am and another time at 7:45 (in two different theatres, but both in #13!). So here's my review. OK, it's not really a review, but a collection of thoughts. Spoilers abound, so if you haven't seen it and don't want to be spoiled, stop reading NOW.

That said, my first impression of this film was that it was exactly what I expected. Exactly. Nothing more, nothing less. It was fine. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. The dialogue sucks. The effects were phenomenal.

The first 15 minutes of the film are LOUD! Like I wish I had earplugs loud. And I realized that my brain has a really hard time following the action in chase or fight scenes in this movie. They are soooo fast, my eyes can't keep up.

I kept wondering why on earth General Grievous, the DROID army leader, had such a bad cough! He's a droid!!! Obviously, it turned out to be foreshadowing as to how he would be killed (apparently, he has some sort of live heart, and Obi-Wan shoots the heart). But it bugged me all freaking day. Droids don't cough!! And seriously, if he had a cough, and he's mostly metal, go get an adjustment! How hard can it be? Of course, then I went to the parking lot and started up my 16-year old car and remembered that metal things sometimes do cough.

The story is pretty tragic in an O'Henry/Romeo and Juliet kind of way. Essentially, Anakin goes down a path to the dark side in an attempt to prevent his premonition of Padme's death in childbirth, but it turns out that his betrayal of the Jedi breaks her spirit so badly that it kills her. In other words, if he had just ignored his dream, it would have gone away. Pretty sad. Of course, George Lucas doesn't have the chops to pull off this kind of drama, but it didn't make me laugh out loud (until the scene when the newly mechanized Anakin/Darth Vader hears of Padme's death).

I was disappointed in the portrayal of Padme. While Matt's main irritant seemed to be her discussion of setting up the baby's room, I thought that was ok. It was a window into her desire to have a normal family life of a sort, which is perfectly normal for pregnant women to feel (I should know). What irritated me was her weakness...in the Episode I, she sneaks off, uses a gun, kicks some ass. Sure, she can't do any stunts, but in this movie, her man turns evil and she chooses to die? Yes, I understand the burden of children is BIG, and overwhelming, and there is the shock and post-partum depression (none of which Lucas has any idea about), but seriously, this is not the time to bail out on your babies! Suck it up, baby! Of course, in real life, I would never think a real mom going through a betrayal by her partner would be considered so lightly, but I just wanted her to grow some hypothetical cahones and take care of her family. But she chose to die instead. Too bad.

I also think the other tragedy is Palpatine's lie to Anakin, that he knew how to save Padme, although he didn't. And then telling Vader that he killed Padme...was that to break his spirit? To prevent him from knowing about the babies?

I was amused at the reuse of several favorite lines, especially "we will rule the galaxy together..." line that Vader used on Luke in Episode V, and to Padme in this one. He really doesn't want to do it alone. Palpatine makes a reference to Vader becoming more powerful than himself, and yet in the ensuing 16-20 years (however long it takes Luke and Leia to grow up in this universe), Vader never makes an attempt at taking over the Empire. I think Palpatine broke his spirit. And using that line on Luke later reveals that Vader might still have good in him, but he needs someone to anchor him, and to encourage him. Obviously, he never challenges the Emperor without the incentive of saving someone he loved. Conflicted, he is.

I did like the too-obvious symbolism of Yoda's final fight with Palpatine in the senate. As Palpatine has destroyed the Senate in concept, he then proceeds to destroy the Senate building too. And the shock of watching Anakin cut off Mace Windu's hand in order to save Palpatine was gripping.

Gripe: Why does Jar-Jar even appear? And why does the actor get credit above the actor who played C3-PO? I guess he has a better agent, and his scenes were cut. Which is a-ok with me, but it was irritating to see him at all. And I felt Chewbacca's presence was just forced in to remind us of how much we loved him. He had very little to do, and I wished he'd been given a more substantive role.

My metanarration: In Episode V, Obi-Wan as a ghost stands next to Yoda and watches Luke rashly fly off to save his friends, who he saw in a vision will be in danger. Ghost Obi-Wan says "he is our only hope," and Yoda responds, "no, there is another." But Obi-Wan should KNOW there was another baby, since he was there for the birth. My explanation is that women get short shrift in the Force, and no one believes that women are heavily infused with the Force, so Obi-Wan thinks that Leia could not be of any assistance in preserving the Jedi order. BUT, and here is my own response to my own metanarration, we know several women Jedi, although they are mostly aliens (the ones I can think of anyway). Oh well.

This movie is not for kids. It's horrifically violent, not in blood, but in body count, and for me, the final blow was Anakin's slaughter of the younglings. Again, no blood, and we didn't see it, but how a man who is about to become a father can kill children is beyond me. It did hit home that he had crossed the line. But still, I would NOT have wanted to be sitting with an 8-year old watching that. It's especially nice that they have a million toys marketed to kids to advertise a movie that even Lucas says isn't for kids. I think I hate him.

Bottom line: Lucas still can't write dialogue. He has woman issues.