Sunday afternoon and lazy

I'm sitting here next to Margaret as she finishes off some chopped pork loin and rice with mustard sauce. Many of the baby books claim that infants at this age can eat table foods that are unseasoned. I say, unseasoned table foods aren't table food. Sure, added salt is not necessary or advisable for babies, but Margaret has been eating spicy foods and garlic in the womb and breastmilk for the past 21 months, so she should be able to handle a little dijon mustard sauce. And she can. She wolfs the tiny bits of pork down like a champion. Last night we went out to dinner to R. Thomas with Debbie and Lewis for their anniversary, a she ate almost all of my cinnamon sweet potatoes. She also consumed a large chunk of my collard greens. She's definitely her mother's child, despite looking like Wes.

What I should be doing is printing out invitations to her birthday party. Grandparents, those not instantly available by email, and close relatives are getting hard copy invites, while everyone else gets an Evite. Ah, Evite...makes it so easy to gather all of your close friends for any reason whatsoever and make it seem like a real event. And for those wondering, yes, you can manage to NOT get alcohol ads on the Evite for your child's first birthday. I was worried for awhile that Margaret's first birhday would be sponsored by Bacardi, making me officially the worst Mommy in the world, but I managed to avoid it.

Reading this article made me feel like I'm not insane. At least one other mom lives in terror that something will happen to her child, and it's not just me and my mom. I felt the same way when Wes and I got married, that I was so happy and in love with him, but now I had someone to lose. I guess that's life...the more you have, the more you have to lose. I feel amazingly lucky to have so many people to love and who love me, so the key is to not let the fear take over. Because when it does, it's not just a quirk anymore...it's called mental illness.